Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Two years..."home"

Well hello, readers!  I'm not up for a long post today about the intricacies of recovery, wellness, and life but feel the need to at least make note of today's small anniversary.

Two years ago today, I left Portugal for home.  What a ride it has been since then!  The work certainly did not stop with the end of my time involved with the official program.  Transition took extensive effort and support and the changes that have occurred over the last two years are countless.

Today I am basking quietly - shared in person with a select few - in the fact that I have been here, back in Canada, in all my old "haunts" and come out on top.  These spaces that were once tainted by illness for so many years have had new memories created and old hurts healed.  Memories come and go, some stronger or more difficult than others and some so peaceful.  Many of the harder, traumatic memories have faded and it is the goodness that was shown to me is most prominent in my mind.  What persists are the memories of the effort I made and that of everyone in my circle, to help, love, and assist in ensuring a complete, successful journey from surviving to thriving.

To look back and realize how long it has been since I went to bed scared and sometimes hopeful that I wouldn't wake up, wondering who would find me; since achingly lonely days dragged by at a snail's pace becoming progressively harder and harder to endure; since self-hate, hopelessness, and negativity ruled my life....hindsight instills such gratitude in me.

So on that note, I will sign off and continue to sit in quiet appreciation of the outcome of my own once bleak story where life was suspended in limbo for too long.  This is success that I will always happily share with everyone who has been alongside me through it all (thick and thin - ha ha).  As time moves forward, the dark and scary memories of a life that seems like it could belong to another slip farther and farther into the background as I create new memories, positive ones, safe ones, memories of love, light, and life. 

Be well, readers.  I hope to update this space again sometime soon.

With love and gratitude.

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