In a little town, far far away...

I was into my local hospital today to visit an ill family friend.  I knew that I would run into people there who knew me, but I went with much less anxiety than ever before.  What a wonderful experience it was, as each time I have visited as I moved along in this process, has been.  I even saw the kitchen ladies today and that was extra delightful.  So to the staff at Mills I would like to say:

Thank you for your pride in me (it will always be "us"); for allowing me to see your tears that come because of my happiness/wellness; for seeing me as I am now and letting the past drop away; for your hugs, smiles, and little shrieks of surprise.

I am honoured to share my success with this little community that ultimately, became part of a world-wide team. My memory is still vague and names, sadly, sometimes escape me. I remember your faces though, and I remember my experience of your caring and warmth. I remember when, despite being run off your feet, you made an extra minute to sit with me, to remind me of why I was worth the effort. I remember when you helped me laugh at myself.

When I look back, I remember some things that went sideways and occasions when frustration overtook patience on all sides, but those are not the memories that feature in my recollection.

Overall, I regard our past with a bit of jaw-drop awe. I do not know one other person in a persistent position as I was, that has encountered such effort on her behalf. I acknowledge my efforts also, but it was you – the nurses, affiliated staff, and a remarkable doctor – who allowed me to keep trying. I knew I would be truly cared about and valued as Me, every time I hauled myself (and my things!) up those stairs and signed in. Even if every negative fibre in my body wanted to be left alone and had me hissing and scratching like an alley cat, you received me where I was at and helped me build on that even when it seemed like the same things over and over again.

To experience your reactions now, to what I have become is yet another blessing on top of my, already countless, heap. To know that it matters to so many of you to see the positive outcome that was enabled because of a team you were part of; to watch your faces light up as recognition sets in – it is an experience that is again, a privilege that I could have never imagined I would be so fortunate to have.

“Thank you” is just a phrase, merely words and entirely inadequate for what I would like to express. I have discovered that the biggest thank you to everyone who has been involved, will be to carry on and live my life to the fullest with love and kindness.

So, for all that you were/did, and for continuing to be part of my life and my process - you all deserve gold stars.

You are heroes in my world.

With such respect,

Julia